How adverse are you to mods?
I use a mod that removes most icons from the compass but you can still see them on the map. You can, if you choose so, click on one of them to highlight it on your screen in the map.
Short description.
Here is forum link
For now this is best I have found for my use. I, like you, would also like to be able to toggle the icons on and off as needed in the vanilla game but for now I am happy with this.