1) Setup the server with vanilla game and test that everything works and you and your friends can join the game
2) Installing the mod is not different for server and client, just use the correct target directory.
3) If you get into problems with the connected clients not finding specific libraries or png-files, this is a bug not fixed yet. There are workarounds for png (see post #1238 in this thread), not sure if they work for the library-problem as well.
Sorry, I have no copy-paste-simple step-by-step guide.