Long thread here, tried to read a lot of it.
I personally play the game for the mood I am in. Sometimes, I play where I just do trader quests for my progression. Other times, I make a conscious decision to just live off my own gains and crafting. No trader quests, just work through the world like they don't exist. Whatever items I find, I do a quick glance and stats compared to what specs I am moving towards and decide if I want to use it. Sometimes I just chose the weapon I am having more fun with, even if it is technically weaker than something else I just found. Or sometimes my crafted items are my best bet.
Rarely do I consume myself so vehemently with how to min/max every aspect of my character. That seems to honestly be the biggest problem overall. It is never going to be totally balanced for every style of gameplay. Perhaps there are some more game options the Pimps could add to try and please all parties. One suggestion I saw Roland give earlier might help.
After playing for like 6 or 7 years now, I do have to say I am totally pleased with A21 so far. Not saying it is complete, not saying there isn't room for improvements, but it is a fun new system overall.