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That's what I thought the advance period they had was, not just 3 days. I was misled to believe some streamers had actual access to some form of early access experimental beta of 1.0 (whatever it's called). Something closer to the tune of several weeks if not months.

 

This caused the initial frustration and feeling of being treated unfairly. I admitted about the same text posted as a thread on Steam that I was wrong, several of my ideas were misconceptions, misunderstanding and I had lacked sufficient information. (Being drunk AND on a huge OCD / ADHD / Borderline Personality dopamine high didn't help).

 

You know when you get this weird completely illogical extreme urge to eat some randomly specific thing at a super random time and get super angry when you can't get it?

 

Imagine that disappointment, that anger and multiply it by 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100, that's how literally every little contradiction, disappointment or failure feels to a Perverse Narcissist.

 

i.e : The stupidest, most trivial and illogical things are taken as a "personal insult" or "intolerable injustice", you get into huge fights over dumb stuff (because of ignorance, impulsivity or you didn't let the person finish talking) and realize (too late) you acted like a moron once the damage is already done.

 

So again, forgive me if I wrote antagonistic things. I've received several pertinent, kind and well meaning replies, whether they agreed with me or not, the important thing is, some people were polite and diplomatic, which was all I had asked for : Support, information, compassion, reassurance...

That's what I thought the advance period they had, not just 3 days. I was misled to believe some streamers had actual access to some form of early access experimental beta of 1.0 (whatever it's called). Something closer to the tune of several weeks if not months.

 

This caused the initial frustration and feeling of being treated unfairly. I admitted about the same text posted as a thread on Steam that I was wrong, several of my ideas were misconceptions, misunderstanding and I had lacked sufficient information. (Being drunk AND on a huge OCD / ADHD / Borderline Personality dopamine high didn't help).

 

You know when you get this weird completely illogical extreme urge to eat some randomly specific thing at a super random time and get super angry when you can't get it?

 

Imagine that disappointment, that anger and multiply it by 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100, that's how literally every little contradiction, disappointment or failure feels to a Perverse Narcissist.

 

i.e : The stupidest, most trivial and illogical things are taken as a "personal insult" or "intolerable injustice", you get into huge fights over dumb stuff (because of ignorance, impulsivity or you didn't let the person finish talking) and realize (too late) you acted like a moron once the damage is already done.

 

So again, forgive me if I wrote antagonistic things. I've received several pertinent, kind and well meaning replies, whether they agreed with me or not, the important thing is, some people were polite and diplomatic, which was all I had asked for : Support, information, compassion, reassurance...

That's what I thought the advance period they had, not just 3 days. I was misled to believe some streamers had actual access to some form of early access experimental beta of 1.0 (whatever it's called). Something closer to the tune of several weeks if not months.

 

This caused the initial frustration and feeling of being treated unfairly. I admitted about the same text posted as a thread on Steam that I was wrong, several of my ideas were misconceptions, misunderstanding and I had lacked sufficient information. (Being drunk AND on a huge OCD / ADHD / Borderline Personality dopamine high didn't help).

 

You know when you get this weird completely illogical extreme urge to eat some randomly specific thing at a super random time and get super angry when you can't get it?

 

Imagine that disappointment, that anger and multiply it by 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100, that's how literally every little contradiction, disappointment or failure feels to a Perverse Narcissist.

 

i.e : The stupidest, most trivial and illogical things are taken as a "personal insult" or "intolerable injustice", you get into huge fights over dumb stuff (because of ignorance, impulsivity or you didn't let the person finish talking) and realize (too late) you acted like a moron once the damage is already done.

 

So again, forgive me if I wrote antagonistic things. I've received several pertinent, kind and well meaning replies, whether they agreed with me or not, the important thing is, some people were polite and diplomatic, which was all I had asked for : Support, compassion, reassurance...

That's what I thought the advance period they had, not just 3 days. I was misled to believe some streamers had actual access to some form of early access experimental beta of 1.0 (whatever it's called). Something closer to the tune of several weeks if not months.

 

This caused the initial frustration and feeling of being treated unfairly. I admitted about the same text posted as a thread on Steam that I was wrong, several of my ideas were misconceptions, misunderstanding and I had lacked sufficient information. (Being drunk AND on a huge OCD / ADHD / Borderline Personality dopamine high didn't help).

 

You know when you get this weird completely illogical extreme urge to eat some randomly specific thing at a super random time and get over-@%$#ed when you can't get it? Imagine that disappointment, that anger and multiply it by 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100, that's how literally every little contradiction, disappointment or failure feels to a Perverse Narcissist.

 

i.e : The stupidest, trivial and most illogical things are taken as a "personal insult" or "intolerable injustice", you get into huge fights over trivialities and realize (too late) you acted like a moron once the damage is already done.

 

So again, forgive me if I wrote something antagonistic. I've received several pertinent, kind and well meaning replies, whether they agreed with me or not, the important thing is, some people were polite and diplomatic, which was all I had asked for : Support, compassion, reassurance...

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